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Funny Quotes

Here at Reader’s Digest, we love a good joke–and that includes the funny quotes people say. From quotes by comedians to quotes by everyday people, we’ve got quips and anecdotes to help you find the light side in everyday life.

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The Most Hilarious Jokes of All Time, According to America’s Beloved Comedy Writers

Our expert panel of eight comedy legends met over pickles and pastrami to select the ten most hilarious jokes in...

The 50 Funniest Jokes About All 50 States

Why are people laughing at your home state? Find out here—then give some back with these 50 jokes for 50...

20 Hilarious DIY Disasters You’ll Be Glad Didn’t Happen to You

It's hard to nail down the 20 dumbest ones we've seen. Let's face it: they're all contenders. But here's our...

16 Motherhood Quotes That’ll Make You Call Your Mom

These touching motherhood quotes will warm your heart and make you want to thank your mom for everything she's done...

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29 Funny Mom Quotes That Will Have You Cry-Laughing

Silence isn't golden... it's suspicious, say all moms everywhere. These funny mom quotes will have you smiling even through the...

The 10 Most Annoying Phrases in the English Language

With all due respect: strike these insincere aphorisms from your lexicon, or you'll be sorry at the end of the...

36 Plumbing Nightmares That Will Make You Cringe

A plumbing problem is no laughing matter—until it's solved. Home inspectors share their favorite plumbing fails.

The 15 Unluckiest Dumb Criminals Ever

The best-laid schemes of mice and men often end in handcuffs.

13 Funny Retirement Quotes to Write in Retirement Cards

To welcome your pal or loved one to the golden years, consider these funny retirement quotes to articulate your sentiment

16 of the Most Outrageous World Records Ever Broken

From chefs making insane amounts of food to crowds of people wearing the same outfit, some of these records are...

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The Epic Star Wars Experience That Just Might Top Every Single One of the Films

After a lifetime of idolizing Jedi masters, I finally became one. Here's how.

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7 Food Containers You’ve Actually Been Using All Wrong

These design features on common food containers are genius!

13 Craziest Things People Have Seen in Hotel Rooms

These unsuspecting employees and guests share their strangest (and for some, scariest) experiences at hotels around the world.

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9 Funny Sleep Quotes Worth Sharing Over Coffee

We guarantee you'll wake up laughing from these funny sleep quotes!

The 10 Craziest Things Professional Window Washers Have Ever Seen

From outrageous to scandalous to hysterical, check out the real-life #awkwardmoments these professionals have witnessed on the job.

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17 Uplifting Quotes That Will Stay with You

When it feels like the world is against you, let the wise words of these motivational quotes lift your spirits

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25 of the Worst Bosses You Could Ever Work For

We asked Rainn Wilson from The Office to help judge your worst boss stories. Whether you laugh in recognition or...

13 Motivational Quotes from Olympic Coaches

Bring home the gold: Follow the winning advice curated from the country's top Olympic coaches to cross your own personal...

20 Inspirational Quotes from Martin Luther King, Jr.

These timeless words will restore your faith in humanity on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day and every day.

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The 5 Shortest Quotes In History

How Muhammad Ali, Calvin Coolidge, and ancient Spartans won in two words or less.

This Is What Outer Space Smells Like (No, Seriously)

Sounds like we live in a rather stinky universe...

Captain Morgan Was Actually a Real Person—and He Didn’t Make Rum

Yes, the buccaneer on your bottle of booze is based on a real guy.