To be or not to be a horse rider, that is equestrian. —Mark Simmons, comedian
Animal Puns
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Animal in the Car
Q: What do you call an animal you keep in your car?
A: A Carpet
Q: What do you call an animal you keep in your car?
A: A Carpet
Sharing A Crab
Q: Why did the crab never share?
A: Because he's shellfish
Q: Why did the crab never share?
A: Because he's shellfish
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After a fish shares his opinion
Let minnow what you think.
Let minnow what you think.
When all the catnip is gone
You have cat to be kitten me right now.
You have cat to be kitten me right now.
A whale is always right
Whale, whale, whale...look who was right again.
Whale, whale, whale...look who was right again.
When a hawk falls off a branch
Well, this is hawkward.
Well, this is hawkward.
When an otter needs personal space
Get otter here!
Get otter here!
Seal jokes
That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!
That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!
Lonely Owl
I'm owl by myself.
I'm owl by myself.
Annoying Giraffe
You're giraffing me crazy.
You're giraffing me crazy.
Panda Madness
This is pandamonium!
This is pandamonium!
When a dolphin makes a mistake…
I didn't do it on porpoise.
I didn't do it on porpoise.
Shellfish Loans
Q. Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
A. The prawn broker.
Q. Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
A. The prawn broker.
Confused Dolphin
Q. What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
A. Can you please be more Pacific?
Q. What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
A. Can you please be more Pacific?
I’ve had it—up to my neck
Q: What did the giraffe say when her neighbor wouldn't stop talking?
A: You're giraffing me crazy!
Q: What did the giraffe say when her neighbor wouldn't stop talking?
A: You're giraffing me crazy!
Hello to you too
Q: What is every whale's favorite greeting?
A: Whale hello there!
Q: What is every whale's favorite greeting?
A: Whale hello there!
Awkward encounters
Q: What did the bird watcher say when she mistook a hawk for an eagle?
A: Well, this is hawkward
Q: What did the bird watcher say when she mistook a hawk for an eagle?
A: Well, this is hawkward
Apologies to the porpoise
Q: What did the dolphin say after he accidentally swam into another sea creature?
A: I didn't do it on porpoise
Q: What did the dolphin say after he accidentally swam into another sea creature?
A: I didn't do it on porpoise
Relationship issues
Q: What did the wild cat couple yell during their argument?
A: "You're such a cheetah!" "No, you're lion!"
Q: What did the wild cat couple yell during their argument?
A: "You're such a cheetah!" "No, you're lion!"
Fishy thoughts
Q: How do fish end their work emails?
A: Let minnow what you think.
Q: How do fish end their work emails?
A: Let minnow what you think.
Top hits on the farm
Q: What is every goat's favorite Haddaway song?
A: What is love? Baby don't herd me
Q: What is every goat's favorite Haddaway song?
A: What is love? Baby don't herd me
Bird dating
Q: What did the flamingo post on her dating profile?
A: Single and ready to flamingle
Q: What did the flamingo post on her dating profile?
A: Single and ready to flamingle
When a pony has a sore throat
Do you have water? I'm a little horse.
Do you have water? I'm a little horse.
When a grizzly means business
Stand back, or I'll beat you with my bear hands!
Stand back, or I'll beat you with my bear hands!
Swimming preferences
Q: Why do seals swim in salt water?
A: Because pepper water makes them sneeze
Q: Why do seals swim in salt water?
A: Because pepper water makes them sneeze
Shut down your haters
Hippo 1: You're fat.
Hippo 2: That's very hippo-critical.
Hippo 1: You're fat.
Hippo 2: That's very hippo-critical.
A feline in disbelief
You have cat to be kitten me right meow.
You have cat to be kitten me right meow.
Emotional farm animals
Q: What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?
A: An animal that's in a baaaaaaaaad mooooooooooood.
Q: What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?
A: An animal that's in a baaaaaaaaad mooooooooooood.
A cowboy’s best friend
Q: Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund?
A: Someone told him to get a long little doggie.
Q: Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund?
A: Someone told him to get a long little doggie.
What do sea lions say when they hear a bad joke?
That's the seal-iest thing I've ever heard.
That's the seal-iest thing I've ever heard.
Elephant Vacation
Q: What did the baby elephant ask his mom before they left for vacation?
A: "Can I borrow a suitcase? I only have a little trunk."
Q: What did the baby elephant ask his mom before they left for vacation?
A: "Can I borrow a suitcase? I only have a little trunk."
Toad Parking
Q: What did the toad say when he parked illegally?
A: "Just waiting for the bus because my car got toad."
Q: What did the toad say when he parked illegally?
A: "Just waiting for the bus because my car got toad."
Alpaca Outing
Want to go on a picnic?
Alpaca lunch.
Want to go on a picnic?
Alpaca lunch.
Cowboy Dog
Q: Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund?
A: Someone told him to get a long little doggy.
Q: Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund?
A: Someone told him to get a long little doggy.
Seal Jokes
Q: What did the seal say when his friend told him a joke?
A: That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!
Q: What did the seal say when his friend told him a joke?
A: That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!
Whale Greeting
Whale hello there!
Whale hello there!
Off to College
Q: What did the Buffalo say to his son when he went off to college?
A: Bison
Q: What did the Buffalo say to his son when he went off to college?
A: Bison
Bear Ears
Q: What would bears be without Bees?
A: Ears
Q: What would bears be without Bees?
A: Ears
Koala Bear
What do you mean I'm not a bear? I have all of the koalafications!
What do you mean I'm not a bear? I have all of the koalafications!