A Trusted Friend in a Complicated World

Kids’ Jokes

Jokes are for everyone! Let kids have a laugh with these kid friendly jokes.

Nothing makes a parent happier than seeing his or her child laugh. Share these funny jokes for kids and best kids jokes with your mini-me. You may want to even try these corny dad jokes for a smirk and an eye-roll.

Artistic Temperament

The skeleton canceled the gallery showing of his skull-ptures because his heart wasn't in it.

See the Future

The skeleton knew what would happen next—he could just feel it in his bones.

No Offense Taken

The skeleton literally didn't mind that everyone called him a bonehead.

Sour Grapes

The skeleton ordered a cabernet wine with a full body because he didn't have one.


Q: Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees? A: They're LUMBARjacks!

Just Relax

Q: Why are skeletons so calm? A: Because nothing gets under their skin!

Jazz Hands

The skeleton played a melodic solo riff on his shiny sax-a-bone.

Doctor’s Orders

Did you hear about the skeleton that dropped out of medical school? He just didn't have the stomach for it.

Lonely Hearts

The skeleton cried his eyes out because he didn't have any body to love.

Sitting by the Fire

Q: What happened to the skeleton who stayed by the fire for too long? A: He became bone dry

Sea Creature

Q: What do you call a monster with no neck? A: The Lost Neck Monster.

Noisy Cemeteries

Skeleton 1: Why are graveyards so noisy? Skeleton 2: I dunno. Why? Skeleton 1: Because of all the coffin.

The Skeleton Detective

Q: Who was the most famous skeleton detective? A: Sherlock Bones

Lacking Courage

I wanted to tell a skeleton pun, but I don't have the guts for it.

Potluck BBQ

That skeleton sure brought his appetite to the picnic—and also some spare ribs.

Maid Service

The skeleton couldn't keep anything tidy because of his lazy bones.

Technologically Advanced

The skeleton didn't like to talk on the rotary skelephone—he preferred his cell bone.

Couch Potato

Skeletons love to binge-watch their favorite shows on the skelevision.


The skeleton couldn't help being afraid of the storm—he just didn't have any guts.

Time for Church

Every Sunday, the skeleton plays his organ for the congregation.

Perfect recipe

Q: What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal? A: "Bone Appetit!"

Ships, Ahoy!

Q: What happened to the pirate ship that sank in the sea full of sharks? A: It came back with a skeleton crew!

Short in Stature

The favored historical ruler of skeletons is none other than Napoleon Bone-a-part.

Made You Laugh

Skeletons are great at stand-up comedy—when they use their funny bone.

Time for Tea

Skeletons serve tea and coffee on bone china—watch out for chips!

Skeleton Dance Dilemma

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the Halloween party? A: He had no body to dance with!

Licensed to Fly

The favorite mode of travel for skeleton pilots is—wait for it—the scareplane or the skelecopter.

A Skeleton’s Favorite Instrument

The one instrument that the skeleton can play better than others is the trom-bone.

Skeleton School

There are two skeleton teachers at school. One is humerus, but the other is very sternum.

Werewolf Junior

Q:  Mummy, why do all the other kids call me a hairy werewolf? A:  Now stop talking about that and brush your face!

A Vampire’s Nightcap

Q:  What did one thirsty vampire say to the other as they were passing the morgue? A:  Let’s stop in for a cool one!

Sickly Vampire

Q:  How can you tell if a vampire has a horrible cold? A:  By his deep loud coffin!

The Skeleton Gourmand

Q:  What do skeletons say before eating? A:  Bone Appetit!

Thirsty Vampire

Q:  Why did the vampire get fired from the blood bank? A:  He was caught drinking on the job!

Angry Vampire

Q:  What is a vampire’s pet peeve? A:  A Tourniquet!

The Guest

Q:  Who did the scary ghost invite to his party? A:  Any old friend he could dig up!

The Scariest Monster of All

Q: What do you call a man who lures women into his place and turns them into ghastly freaks? A: A 1980’s hairdresser!

Good-Humored Monster

Q:  What goes Ha-ha-ha-ha!, thud!!! and keeps laughing? A:  A monster laughing it’s head off!

Squashed Squash

Q:  How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern? A:  With a pumpkin patch.

Fruit Bats

Q: What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? A: A necktarine!

The Dumb Skeleton

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school? A: His heart wasn’t in it.

Dancing Monsters

Q: What kind of monster loves to disco? A: The boogieman.

Obese Pumpkin

Q: What do you call a fat pumpkin? A: A plumpkin.

Dieting Scarecrow

Q: Why didn’t the scarecrow eat dinner? A: He was already stuffed.

Honest Ghosts

Q: Why are ghosts so bad at lying? A: Because you can see right through them!

Superstitious Rodent

Q: When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat? A: When you’re a mouse.

Witch’s Spell

Q: How do you make a witch itch? A: Take away the W.

Vampire Love

Q: What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire? A: It’s a pain in the neck.

A Demon’s BFF

Q: Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? A: Because demons are a ghouls best friend!

Disappointed Ghost

Q: Why can’t the boy ghost have babies? A: Because he has a Hallo-weenie.

Dracula’s Renovations

Q: What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house? A: A grave problem.

Sated Vampire

Q: How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? A: All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.

The Weather Outside is Frightful

Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? A: Frostbite

Congested Ghost

Q: What is in a ghost’s nose? A: Boo-gers

Busy Mummy

Q: Why don’t mummies take time off? A: They’re afraid to unwind.

Gargling Vampire

Q: Why did the vampire need mouthwash? A: Because he had bat breath.

The Witch’s Garage

Q: What do you call a witch’s garage? A: A broom closet.

The Least Popular Product In the World

Q: The maker of this product does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it. What is it? A: A coffin.

Ghost on R&R

Q: Where does a ghost go on vacation? A: Mali-boo.

Curvy Spirit

Q: Why do girl ghosts go on diets? A: So they can keep their ghoulish figures.

Workaholic Horseman

Q: Why did the headless horseman go into business? A: He wanted to get ahead in life.

Intellectual Vampire

Q: Why did the Vampire read the New York Times? A: He heard it had great circulation.

Drunk Ghost

Q: Why did the ghost go into the bar? A: For the Boos.

Ahoy, Dracula!

Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween? A: On blood vessels

Skinny Skeletons

Q: Know why skeletons are so calm? A: Because nothing gets under their skin.

The Cowardly Pumpkin

Why was the jack-o-lantern afraid to cross the road? He had no guts.

“Does It Only Come In Black?”

My five-year-old son is crazy about cars, so I took him to his first car show. He loved seeing all the different models and brands and gushed over the big...

Why Did The Chicken Go to…

Q: Why did the chicken go to the 
séance? A: To get to the other side.

Cluck Life

Q: Why does a chicken coop have two doors? A: If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.

What do You Call a Line…

Q: What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A: a receding hare-line.

What Do You Call an Old…

Q: What do you call an old snowman?   A: Water!

What does Charles Dickens…

Q: What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack?   A: The best of thymes, the worst of thymes.

What’s the different between a cat…

Q: What’s the different between a cat and a comma? A: A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a...