The 60 Most Ridiculous Excuses People Actually Used to Get out of Work
Updated: Sep. 03, 2023
"Grandma tried to poison me. Again."
Sick llama
An employee couldn’t come in because his llama wouldn’t stop barfing. Here are some really odd and funny excuses ever uttered.
Tummy troubles
An employee called in sick because he ate cat food instead of tuna and was deathly ill. Still not as bad as the dumbest job applicants of all time.
Stuck on you
An employee got stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store and couldn’t get out.
What’s your poison?
An employee claimed his grandmother poisoned him with ham. Find out what bosses say the actual best way to call in sick is.
Potential brain damage
The employee said that he couldn’t come to work because his fortune-teller had asked him not to step out of the house or he would suffer a brain hemorrhage.
Blowing the coop
An employee couldn’t come to work because she accidentally got on a plane. Think accepting that excuse is bad? Read these 41 ridiculous things people believed as kids.
Dental drama
An employee’s false teeth flew out the window while driving down the highway. Don’t miss these 15 bizarre excuses people used in car insurance claims.
Something in the air
An employee claimed the ozone in the air flattened his tires. It would take the world’s dumbest boss to fall for that.
Microwave mistakes
An employee caught their uniform on fire by putting it in the microwave to dry. Make sure you know these “innocent” things you didn’t know could get you fired.
Duty calls
An employee had to mow the lawn to avoid a lawsuit from the Homeowners’ Association.
Holy cow
An employee said a cow broke into her house and she had to wait for the insurance man.
What job?
An employee forgot he had been hired for the job. Check out these other outrageous true stories of dumb employees.
Room raiders
An employee was blocked in by police raiding her home. These have got to be the dumbest laws in every state.
Happier hour
An employee called in sick from a bar at 5:00 p.m. the night before. Check out these 13 craziest things drive-through workers have seen on the job.
Dazzled by the sun
An employee thought the sunrise was so beautiful that they had to stop and take it in.
Too good to pass up
An employee was offered a grilled cheese sandwich and couldn’t say no. While you’re at it, learn how to say no politely and firmly in any situation.
Below freezing
An employee said it was too cold to work. Amazing bosses might not let you get away with these excuses for missing work, but they do these things every day.
Wrong office
An employee accidentally drove to their former employer’s location even though they haven’t worked there for five years. Now, check out the craziest things Walmart employees have seen at work.
