The 60 Most Ridiculous Excuses People Actually Used to Get out of Work
"Grandma tried to poison me. Again."
An employee couldn’t come in because his llama wouldn’t stop barfing. Here are some really odd and funny excuses ever uttered.
An employee called in sick because he ate cat food instead of tuna and was deathly ill. Still not as bad as the dumbest job applicants of all time.
Stuck on you
An employee got stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store and couldn’t get out.
An employee’s wife found out he was cheating, and he had to spend the day retrieving his belongings from the dumpster.
What’s your poison?
An employee claimed his grandmother poisoned him with ham. Find out what bosses say the actual best way to call in sick is.
Potential brain damage
The employee said that he couldn’t come to work because his fortune-teller had asked him not to step out of the house or he would suffer a brain hemorrhage.
Blowing the coop
An employee couldn’t come to work because she accidentally got on a plane. Think accepting that excuse is bad? Read these 41 ridiculous things people believed as kids.
Walk of Shame
An employee had a “lucky night” and didn’t know where he was in the morning.
An employee had to attend the funeral of his wife’s cousin’s pet, because he was an uncle and pallbearer.
An employee’s false teeth flew out the window while driving down the highway. Don’t miss these 15 bizarre excuses people used in car insurance claims.
An employee refused to come to work because his fish was unwell.
Something in the air
An employee claimed the ozone in the air flattened his tires. It would take the world’s dumbest boss to fall for that.
An employee was bowling the game of his life and couldn’t make it to work.
Show me the money
An employee had been at the casino all weekend and still had money left to play with on Monday morning.
An employee was experiencing traumatic stress from a large spider found in her home, and had to stay home to deal with it.
An employee caught their uniform on fire by putting it in the microwave to dry. Make sure you know these “innocent” things you didn’t know could get you fired.
Oh happy day
An employee woke up in a good mood and didn’t want to ruin it.
Law and order
An employee’s dead grandmother was being exhumed for a police investigation.
An employee was feeling too upset after watching “The Hunger Games.”
An employee had to mow the lawn to avoid a lawsuit from the Homeowners’ Association.
An employee said a cow broke into her house and she had to wait for the insurance man.
An employee forgot he had been hired for the job. Check out these other outrageous true stories of dumb employees.
An employee was blocked in by police raiding her home. These have got to be the dumbest laws in every state.
An employee called in sick from a bar at 5:00 p.m. the night before. Check out these 13 craziest things drive-through workers have seen on the job.
Different time zones
An employee said he had to watch a soccer game that was being played in Europe.
An employee has to take his pet turtle to visit the exotic animal clinic.
An employee said the wind blew the deck off their house.
An employee couldn’t come to work because their mother locked them in a closet.
Dazzled by the sun
An employee thought the sunrise was so beautiful that they had to stop and take it in.
An employee said their mother-in-law wouldn’t stop talking.
Too good to pass up
An employee was offered a grilled cheese sandwich and couldn’t say no. While you’re at it, learn how to say no politely and firmly in any situation.
An employee said it was too cold to work. Amazing bosses might not let you get away with these excuses for missing work, but they do these things every day.
Took the road less traveled
An employee was an hour late because an astrologer warned them of a car accident on a major highway, so they took all backroads.
An employee accidentally drove to their former employer’s location even though they haven’t worked there for five years. Now, check out the craziest things Walmart employees have seen at work.