A Trusted Friend in a Complicated World

120+ Halloween Puns That Will Have You Laughin’ Till You’re Coffin

Get ready for a guaranteed gourd time with these hilarious Halloween puns!

Halloween Puns Ft Gettyimages 1426156694
RD.com, Getty Images

Clever Halloween puns always lift our spirits!

If you ask us, Halloween is the best holiday of the year. From imaginative costumes that’ll have you feeling hex-tra cute to buckets of Halloween candy you can’t Reese-ist, there’s so much more to the holiday than scares and boos—though we do love a Halloween cocktail every now and then! Sorry, we couldn’t help ourselves, but that’s OK, because hilarious Halloween puns only add to the festive spirit.

These pithy and punny Halloween jokes are the perfect seasonal sprinkles for a conversation or text—or the basis for a great Instagram caption, Halloween meme or greeting. So get ready to get silly, spooky and even a little (pumpkin) spicy for the best season of all.

Get Reader’s Digest’s Read Up newsletter for more Halloween, humor, cleaning, travel, tech and fun facts all week long.

Halloween Puns 1 Halloween Gettyimages 119015714
RD.com, Getty Images

Halloween puns

  • Happy Halloween! Creep it real, bro.
  • Best fiends for life.
  • Just two newlywebs celebrating our first Halloween as Mr. and Mrs.
  • If you’ve got it, haunt it!
  • Howl you doing?
  • This mummy is ready for Halloween!
  • Just two old bats hanging out this Halloween.
  • Reading my daily horror-scope.
  • No better way to kick off Halloween than with a bagel and scream cheese.
  • I’m dead. (Literally.)
  • Simply eerie-sistible.
  • Trick-or-treat yo’self.
  • Feelin’ hex-tra cute.
  • Let’s go fright now!
  • Orange you excited that Halloween is almost here?
  • Eat, drink and be scary.
  • Dead tired, but Halloween was a success!

If these Halloween puns are getting you in the mood for a gourd time, check out these Halloween party ideas to plan your own monster mash.

Halloween Puns 2 Candy Gettyimages 1354717936
RD.com, Getty Images

Halloween candy puns

  • Twix or treat!
  • This will definitely come in candy.
  • Going to have to exorcise after eating all this Halloween candy.
  • Can’t wait to start goblin up all this Halloween candy!
  • What kind of candy do zombies hate the most? Life Savers.
  • That Halloween candy tastes as good as it spells.
  • There’s no sugar-coating it: This is the best holiday of the year.
  • No, I did not steal your KitKat. Gimme a break!
  • This holiday couldn’t be any sweeter.
  • I can’t Reese-ist a great Halloween pun.
  • Halloween is choco-full of fun!
  • These Halloween puns may be (candy) corny, but you know you love them anyway!
  • Wow—your costume looks so realistic, it’s un-candy!
  • What two letters spell candy? C and Y.

So much candy, so little time! Make sure you know the best Halloween candy, according to your zodiac sign, so you can get right to the good stuff.

Halloween Puns 3 Pumpkin Gettyimages 1178959163
RD.com, Getty Images

Pumpkin puns

  • Let’s give ’em pumpkin to talk about.
  • This pumpkin is totally smashed.
  • All it needed was a little pumpkin patch, and now it’s as good as new.
  • Lookin’ gourd, girl!
  • Gourd vibes only this Halloween.
  • You don’t know jack-o’-lantern.
  • Carvin’ out some “me” time.
  • This pumpkin and I are super close now—she spilled her guts to me this afternoon.
  • Unless it’s pumpkin spice, I don’t give a frappe.
  • Just two pumpkins jamming out to some vine-yls.
  • Good gourd, you scared me!
  • Let the gourd times roll.
  • The end of PSL season has me feeling all despresso.
  • Just saying “hollow!”
  • Feeling a little empty inside …
  • Watch out—this part of town can be a little seedy.

Try these pumpkin-carving stencils to take your jack-o’-lantern to the next level.

Halloween Puns 4 Ghost Gettyimages 1281395813
RD.com, Getty Images

Ghost puns

  • Have a fa-boo-lous Halloween!
  • Hey there, boo-tiful.
  • Where my ghouls at?
  • #squadghouls
  • Headed to the ghost-ry store.
  • Where’s the boos?
  • Feeling fancy in my boo-tie.
  • The ghost-ess with the mostest.
  • Time to boo-gie!
  • Nothing like Halloween to lift some spirits!
  • Feelin’ boo-tylicious
  • Came for the party, stayed for the boos.
  • That’s boo-sheet.
  • Just being transparent with you.
  • Me and my boo.
  • I totally have déjà boo.

Looking for something on the scary side? These real ghost stories will send shivers down your spine.

Halloween Puns 5 Witch Gettyimages 175001068
RD.com, Getty Images

Witch puns

  • I’m 100% that witch.
  • Broommates for life.
  • Witcha up to tonight?
  • That’s just witchful thinking.
  • Witching you a Happy Halloween!
  • Witch me luck!
  • Keep calm and carry a wand.
  • Basic witch.
  • Don’t fly off the handle!
  • Resting witch face.
  • If the broom fits …
  • Bow down, witches.
  • You can’t always get what you wand.
  • Grab your broom—it’s time to make a clean getaway!
  • Hang tight—I’ll be-witcha in a moment.

Witch Halloween puns are the funniest? The ones that also work as punny Halloween costumes!

Halloween Puns 6 Vampire Gettyimages 464663968
RD.com, Getty Images

Vampire puns

  • Being a vampire really sucks.
  • Vampires and I have bad blood.
  • Feeling fang-tastic!
  • It was love at first bite.
  • That costume is necks level.
  • Do I have bat breath?
  • He’s a total sucker for me.
  • Need a few coffin drops for this cold.
  • Feeling like a fangster.
  • That vampire is always looking in the mirror—he’s so vein!
  • Suck it up, dude.
  • Fangs for the memories.
  • Better luck necks time!
  • Welcome to my bat-chelor pad.
  • Another one bites the dust.

If you love vampires in all forms, whether they’re scary or sparkly, check out the best vampire movies and vampire books for Halloween and beyond.

Halloween Puns 7 Monster Gettyimages Ab33940
RD.com, Getty Images

Monster puns

  • This bag of candy is monster-ously huge!
  • This zombie is feeling rotten.
  • Happy Howl-oween!
  • Being a zombie isn’t for the faint of heart—it takes real dead-ication.
  • Need some zombie to love.
  • This costume cost an arm and a leg, but I think it was worth it.
  • Monsters aren’t good at math … unless you Count Dracula.
  • Just werewolfed down all the Halloween candy.
  • Got a little “wrapped up” in Halloween shenanigans this year!
  • What a narcissist! That mummy is so wrapped up in herself.
  • Just zom-be yourself!
  • Now that’s a real monster-piece.
  • This mummy loves jammin’ to wrap.
  • He’s smarter than Frank Einstein.
  • Zombies don’t like green beans—they prefer human beans.

Oh my gourd, fall is fun! Try our favorite fall bucket-list activities to make the season even better.

Halloween Puns 8 Skeleton Gettyimages 163744499
RD.com, Getty Images

Skeleton puns

  • Didn’t put much effort into my Halloween costume this year—my heart just wasn’t in it.
  • Bone appétit!
  • No guts, no glory.
  • Bone to be wild.
  • No body to love.
  • These Halloween puns tickled my funny bone.
  • Nothing gets under this skeleton’s skin.
  • I’ll call you on my skel-phone.
  • Lazy bones.
  • Bone jour, friends!
  • Will you marrow me?
  • Tonight’s going to be fun—I can feel it in my bones!
  • I’d tell you a Halloween pun, but you might not find it very humerous.
  • Have a skele-ton of fun!
  • I’ve got a bone to pick with you!

For some brain-teasing treats, check out these tricky Halloween riddles next.

Maryn Liles
Maryn Liles is a home and travel expert who’s covered everything from the best robotic vacuums to the most remote destinations around the world. She's also the founder of Connected Content Co., an SEO and creative content agency that's done work for Reader's Digest along with other companies and publications. When she's not writing, you can find her working on her latest home DIY project, out for a hike or dancing around the house to '80s jams.