A Trusted Friend in a Complicated World

13 Funny Retirement Quotes to Write in Retirement Cards

Retirement is a happy, celebratory time where one can finally reap the benefits of multi-decade labor. To welcome your pal or loved one to the golden years, consider these funny quotes that articulate your sentiment.

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New pastimes

Since your friend won’t be logging 40—or more!—hours a week anymore, he or she will have plenty of time for the pastimes they adore. A big one for most? Fishing, of course! These are the 10 best small towns in America to retire to.

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For a hole in one

The only thing better than acing a hole-in-one, after all, is getting to practice your swing as often as you’d like. Remind your friend of his new schedule with this humorous quote. Find out the common money mistakes to avoid in retirement.

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For real talk

As relieving as it can be not to head to a job every day, this clever quote from the classic cartoon strip, “Calvin and Hobbes” doesn’t say much—and yet—says everything.

Have a co-worker who’s retiring soon? Congratulate them with these retirement wishes.

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For joking about money

The idea of retiring can be both exciting and daunting. Let this quote celebrate the cash your pal has been able to save—and hopefully, has plenty of time to still spend!

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For how it feels

Not everyone has the best perception of retirement, especially if it wasn’t entirely up to them, but luckily this quote will get them chuckling.

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For the new normal

When a married woman retires, she gets a whole new set of responsibilities. Here’s how to prepare your friend for what’s to come.

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For feeling younger

Though it might seem like your pal is moving closer to the end of life, this quote from the famed centenarian will help keep it all in perspective.

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For the perks

While you have to rise when your alarm clock sounds, your newly-retired friend will have free-range to do, well, whatever they please.

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For darker humor

Have a friend who likes to take every conversation to the extreme… and avoid their P’s and Q’s? If so, this quote is a must.

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For day-to-day life

Joke about your friend’s never-ending “out of office” with this quote.

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For opting out of LinkedIn profiles

Though for the vast majority of his or her life being unemployed would have been bad news—now it’s reason to pop the champagne!

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For new dress codes

Scribble this one in the card of your retired lawyer pal who no longer has to suit up to impress his or her boss, clients, or network. (And psst: make sure to give them a warning before stopping by their house since, ahem, they might be disheveled.)

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For aging gracefully

No matter which fancy way you put it, retirement seals the end of your working days, and some might feel like all of their days are limited. Remind them of the best to come with this cute quote. Here are the things retirees wish they had known ahead of time.

Lindsay Tigar
Lindsay Aurora Tigar is an experienced digital editor and blogger in NYC. Her blog, Confessions of a Love Addict, has a large following around the world, thousands of subscribers and hundreds of thousands of unique visitors a year. A book project based on her blog is under development and represented by theJames Fitzgerald Agency.The New York Post named her New York City's most eligible single in January 2014. She was also selected as one of New York's most desirable singles by the lifestyle dating website, Rachel & Chris, and has partnered with several popular dating blogs to create viral content. She is part of the HerCampus Blogger Network and spoke at their summer conference in New York on "How to Be a Powerhouse Blogger." She's a social media and digital media guru with big followings on Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest.She freelances for several sites, including Shape.com, eHarmony.com,AskMen.com, Engagement 101 and more. She's also the resident dater forWomen'sHealthMag.com, writing weekly about her dating adventures in her 'Dater Diary' column.