25 Words That Can Make You Instantly Funnier
Cut the malarkey. A few seconds with these words, and you'll be the funniest slangwhanger in all the land.
Don’t say Run away
Ex.: We camped in line for the new iPhone all night, but finally absquatulated when the wolves came out.
Don’t call your friend Clumsy
Ex.: “Be careful where you point that musket, you blunderbuss!”
Don’t say Umbrella
Ex.: “You can stand under my bumbershoot,” Rihanna offered as the storm began. “Eh, eh, eh/ Under my bumbershoot.” Here’s more hilarious vintage slang that will make you sound awesome.
Don’t Say Nonsense
Ex.: I try to watch cable news, but everything they say is a load of codswallop. (Also try: Flapdoodle)
Don’t say Queasiness
Ex.: No matter how much I practice beforehand, public speaking on roller coasters always gives me collywobbles! You’ll love these 10 funny spelling mistakes that were actually printed.
Don’t say Brawl
Ex.: When the Sharks and the Jets accidentally booked the same dance studio, it was an all-out donnybrook. (Also try: Argle-Bargle)
Don’t say Face paint
Ex., as a noun: Pass the fard, Claudette—I’m due onstage any minute!
Ex., as a verb: It looks like someone farded all over that clown’s face.
Don’t say Confused
Ex.: Kanye West was plum flummoxed when Beyoncé failed to win Best Female Video in 2009.
Don’t say Ogle
Ex.: Whenever Camilla the chicken passed Gonzo’s door, she felt sure she was being gonzoogled.
Don’t say Prison
Ex.: They oughta throw you in the hoosegow, because that outfit is a crime against fashion. Don’t miss these other funny words that sound completely made up.
Don’t say Commotion
Ex.: Fed up with the hurlyburly of city life, The Coens found a nice quiet timeshare on Mars. (Also try: Brouhaha)
Don’t say Pamper
Ex.: “I do not mollycoddle my children,” said Molly, tying her 23-year-old son’s shoes. Don’t miss these 20 grammar jokes every word nerd will appreciate.
Don’t say Sissy
Ex.: “Don’t be a namby-pamby, boy. Pick up that chainsaw and cut your father’s hair.”
Don’t call someone Profane
Ex.: “I enjoy Lil’ Wayne’s music,” Grandma admitted, “but does he have to be such a slangwhanger?”
Don’t call someone a Pessimist
Ex.: I hate going to the beach with Al Gore; on every sunny day he’s such a smellfungus!
Don’t call it an Exit
Ex.: After eating too much buttered popcorn at the circus, Dad promptly sprinted to the vomitory.
Don’t say Exhausted
Ex.: After a long day of hunting, Elmer Fudd was absolutely wabbit. You’ll also want to check out these fancy words that make you sound smarter.